When the fortune doesn’t come true…

It was a chilly walk from the subway with the dreary New York slush at my feet, the slush that seemed to last for months. I was greeted by the laughter of my friends as we opened the door to one of the city’s trendy speakeasy’s, Employees Only. The entrance passes by a fortune teller that rotates nightly, sometimes a palm reader, sometimes a card reader. Behind the velvet curtain was a bar bustling with people all dressed to the nines for a Friday night in the city.

Attribution: https://pixabay.com/en/cocktail-bar-sul-bottle-alcohol-1535518/

As we sat down and embarked upon the lovely selections of hand crafted cocktails, I couldn’t help but wonder if tonight should be the night I try out a fortune teller.  Having just got out of a serious relationship with a guy that I thought I loved, that I thought could have significant potential, I was feeling lost and confused. I hadn’t been happy with my career in what felt like years, and it felt like I was on the brink of a big juncture.

The laughter and enjoyment increased in direct correlation to the cocktails that came out like clockwork. The guys at the next table eyeing us and trying to get our attention. Though this night was about the ladies, about the love of friendship, and about the peace that comes with being completely present in the moment. By the time we were getting up to leave, she whispered to me, “let’s do it”. Let’s do what I asked. “The palm reader, let’s do it, please be my wing woman”. Of course I couldn’t let her down.

She was nervous to go first, “what if she says something I don’t like” “what if she says I’ll die”. How could I reassure her, I guess all those were possible. Not having done anything like this before, the only thing I could offer was “sure, I’ll go first” and in I went. The woman was tall and slender, reminded me of one of those witch doctors you see in the movies, bandana over her head, and her long slender fingers reaching for my hands. Her eyes were a dark black, but with a kindness and depth that made me wonder what her story was. How she got to the US, how she got here, in front of me at some random speakeasy in NYC reading palms.

Attribution: https://pixabay.com/en/tarot-crystals-pendulum-occult-1775322/

Holding my hands for a few minutes, the palm reader focused on reading my energy. Being both a stubborn and skeptical person by nature,  I didn’t really speak. Luckily she didn’t really ask any questions. She could read me, she could read my hands, she didn’t need to read into my semantics or verbal responses. She asked which hand was my dominant, I said right, so she looked at my left. She paused as she looked at the lines on my hand, studying each one very carefully. My friend and I both quiet just staring at her as she did her work.

“You are quite successful in your business?” I was on the partner track and already learned the promotion was finalized, so I confirmed. “You are not happy at work”, there was no denying that, this she read from my body language and tone of voice, my lack of excitement in the response on my prior question. She looked back at my hand, “You will come into money soon”. I had been planning in the back of my head to start a software development business for what I believed to be a million dollar idea, and I thought yes, awesome, maybe it will happen, maybe it will come true. Very exciting. Note, I would learn months later she was right, but it wasn’t in the way I had originally thought.

As she studied the other lines on my hands she said “It was around 24 or 25 when you first had a significant love?” How could she know that? It was so specific. She had no idea how old I was (and I don’t look my age either). I didn’t answer. I was perplexed, intrigued, she was still in deep study of my hand. “There hasn’t been any big love since?” Also right. I had thought I loved the guy I’d just broke up with, but it was not like the love I had in my mid-20s. That was euphoric stop the world love, moved in together, talked of marriage, it was intense, magical, amazing. “When you are 37 you’ll meet your next big love”. Again, so specific.

As she rattled off a few other observations and things she interpreted from my hands, I couldn’t stop thinking how incredibly specific she had been. How accurate she had been. Are all palm readers this good, or did I just get lucky. I couldn’t have been giving her clues that led her here because they were far too detailed. I was perplexed to say the least. It would take me days to process what she said and really wonder, what if she was right.

Although she could have never known, but that following spring, I turned 37. Just as she predicted, I fell into money unexpectedly, not a huge amount, but enough to finally leave my job and start on my own endeavors. Though as 37 came and went, the significant love didn’t happen. She said he would be in my same field, that it felt like he was of a similar space as me. My 37th year was spent being faithful to a guy who was never faithful to me, being devoted to a man who did nothing but lie to me. Which makes me wonder, if while I was tied up with the wrong guy, if in fact I missed the chance with the right guy. If I was too busy being sucked into the wrong guy’s drama to see my guy right in front me.

As 37 came and went, I wondered what happens if your fortune doesn’t come true? If all the pieces but one come into place. Of course one might say, fortune tellers know nothing, get over it. Which frankly had I not met this one in particular I would have agreed with as every one since has been a bit of a joke. Someone might say, well you just fell for it because she said the things you wanted to hear, and I’ve asked myself that question and I don’t feel that’s the case. So regardless of what everyone else says as it’s hard to place judgement on another’s life when you’re not actually in their shoes, you weren’t there for the experiences, etc.

My analytical mind always looking to make sense of things has decided this – I was supposed to meet a significant guy when I was 37. I didn’t because of a bad choice I made. Though I believe life and time will rewrite itself and a new opportunity will be born. Specifics unknown as to when, where, etc. Though I’m confident that even if destiny has an intersection point we’re supposed to be at, if we don’t show up or if we’re not ready when we do show up, the time continuum of life will morph and adjust to accommodate.



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